The Dragonsinger

When I was about twelve my brother introduced me to Anne Mccaffrey and her Dragonriders of Pern series. My favorite by far was her smaller series, written for teens, that starred the Harper, Menolly. I did not understand that in Menolly I glimpsed my true soul, my doppleganger. A child suffering from emotional neglect and abuse, who was not allowed to be her true self. However, where as Menolly ran from home and found her destiny, it would take thirty years for me to fully comprehend her lessons and act on my behalf.

For years I imagined myself as Menolly every night as I lay in bed. Being her was a sweet sweet comfort. Beautiful, shy, kind, artistic. It never struck me as odd that I was obsessed with being her. It felt natural. It felt good. I never questioned it.

But in the light of day it felt forbidden, shameful. It was just a dream, a hopeless dream, only appropriate in the domain of night, of dreams. It was fantasy, just something you read, not something you do. it would remain fantasy, and I would remain frozen, a princess in a tower, for thirty years.

#lifelessons #authenticity#gender identity#transgender#transition#self acceptance